Ah Ma, after reading ur blog. I hav too come to realise smth.
But i won't say it.
Its smth tat really will change ur mindset to the things around u.
After tat incident, I started to think bout wat had gone wrong.
I started to think tat, I kept myself deliberately ignorant.
I hoped tat by doing tat, at least I would feel nth.
But Orhji & they all changed it.
They stood by me no matter wat decision i chose. When they knew wat happened, they just giv me the listening ear & tat's all I'm asking for :) They r really my true friends, of cos the list is longer I hav true friends around me & now i realised it :)
Hahas u guys might be the one to break my long held belief tat friendships never last long.
So thx :)
However to me, apologies won't mean a thing. All the apologies won't mean a thing thus i had to do smth to earn the right to say I'm sry. Hahas straight to the point, I can't apologise to them, not now. It won't be fair to them. Neither to Sheryl. U girl, whatever happens or happened, past, present & future. I'll still stand by ur side as a friend, no matter wat flaws u hav. Truth hurts & it'll always do. So don't mind me when i blunt to u. Yes, i know saying tis will definitely worsened ties wif her, but would she rather hear me say a lie or the truth. To be honest, it wasn't stable in the 1st place, but despite tat i will always treasure it. No matter wat she thinks, I will still stand by her side if needed.
Choosing sides? Hahas no i won't. I won't wan be the one sitting on the fence though. So I'll only say smth when it is necessary.
So to sum up, it depends on wat they think. If they don't accept it, its ok. Apologies r not supposed to be taken for granted though let me warn u tat.
I promised Ah ma tat I'll try my best to win bac trust & to u all too. However, trust is like a mirror. U can fix it when it's broken but u still can see the cracks on the mirror. There's no tellin if i get bac trust & things will go bac to normal.
Hahas for ur info that phrase was from the music video of telephone by lady gaga & she added vulgarity in it ><
I guess its time to talk to Ch'ng Yi. As much as I'm mad at her for her sudden quietness after o lvl. She's still my friend, one of my best friends even. I won't abandon her & tat's wat friends r for :)
Diff ppl hav diff opinions thus do tell me urs ><
Im waiting!

Today was slack... Just walkin around aimlessly looking for things to do & got scolded by one of the aunties. xo
Hahas but the best part was my friend, Sun Ning. She came to workplace (her off day) wearing a black dress. Which looks cute on her. The whole time my eyes were wide open looking at her... She looks damn different from her normal looks.
~
Hahas today was also very surprising. There's a temp guy same age as me at workplace. He saw me wearing the mayflower band camp tee. Then he asked: u from band?
Actually i kinda knew before he was from band. Cos yesterday i saw him wearing his band tee. N he's from Serangoon Garden Sec. A drum major & a TUBA player! :) Hahas ah ma ur comrade. Hahas forgot to ask him whether he noe Chuanjie oh well tmr ba. Oh yea i noe another friend (shit forgot her name xp) She's from the string ensemble cca & she plays cello. XD
~
Hmm currently deciding should i buy howjin the penguin soft toy ( y i picked tat? Cos when i first saw it. I punched it xp Like the way i hit howjin whenever i see him) or the lava lamp... XD

Yea i'm bac. Work was tiring but interesting, especially wif the gossipings between the aunties & supervisors -.-...

Politics... -,- Man, they suck...

Haiz i got many injuries... Especially from the penknife i'm holding at work. Got a painful cut cos of it...

Now currently hooked on playing final fantasy dissiadia 012. Hahas now officially a final fantasy fan xp. I love their music it's one of the best ever composed!! Especially Aerith's theme & The price of freedom.

Oh yea Ah ma i bought the last book of the inheritance cycle, Eragon the series remember?

Matthew said it was nice & the fighting scene is damn surprising. The evil guy... Nah, if u wan read it for urself >< Oh yea hehe... Ur present xo

Yea i'm now totally in love wif hope from final fantasy 13.

His character development is awesome! From a 14 yr old kid who just got thrown into the world of l'cie & blah~, n to make things worse...

HE DOES NOT NOE HOW TO FIGHT...

& he's whiny & always afraid of things happening around him.

But let's not forget tat he saw wif his own eyes of the sight tat his mother fell to her death.

& his father is dunno wher -.- ( Lols tat father, can see y hope dislikes him)

But he changed.

He got one of the best summons in ff game (arguably) Alexander.

He finally had hope. (-.-Ironically, even though his namesake suggests tat but he has no hope.)

N look at him at ff13-2. He's totally hot!!!

N he became damn academic, leading an academy of the ruling government.

Woah~

XD

Damn happy~ Noctis too although he's wayyy hotter than Hope :)

Noctis's weapons & ability is so damn cool~ Stella better be a gd fighter >< Otherwise she does not deserve him at all.

My favourite guys in final fantasy: Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth, Noctis, Hope & Vaan.

Hahas y Sephiroth? Cos he killed Aerith :)

Although i love her theme but i don't like the person.

So wat she's kind nice cheerful pretty.... She's a traitor to Zack & a freakin annoying third party in Cloud & Tifa's relationship. Not tat they were in.

After looking through & talkin wif ah ma & yilian & sheryl.
I hav realised tat i miss band a lot. Alot.
I told ah ma tat, n she told me just come bac ah.
But my work clashes wif it. N honestly i keep oversleeping tis few days.
Haiz i miss howjin (ok its normal for a senior to miss a junior don get anything wrong just cos my statement seems wrong.) I miss Timlim & Jason too.
Yea like wat ah ma said. I would never probbaly tell howjin tat i'm proud of him. I will still criticise him & hahas hit him or smth. XD
Yea yea i noe i'm evil/diabolical to my junior. But thinking in long term its gd for him. He will keep on improving his playing & theory skills.
Whahahas. I miss mr tan a lot. Although blackmailing not much. Haiz how i want my xeno trombone... ><
Well when the nxt opportunity arrives i take it! :)

I miss BAND a lot. Trombone too.
Main reasons im not goin bac to sws is tat i don think i can play third trombone. Chiao Wen plays well. I feel damn... The whole time in mayflower secondary school i hav always being first (not counting at sec one yr although i went to first at tat yr), and although i said many times i don wan be in first. I love it. I absolutely love it. Although im got to be the lousiest first trombone in mayflower sec sch's his... Howjin is not cos he never gave up, but i did n wasted one yr emo-ing in band.
Third trombone part seems very different to me. N its a stranger...
I miss first trombone.
Suddenly i don wan to graduate from mf anymore. I miss playing trombone there.
But life goes on~
I unlike my friends hav not made my decision...
N i don think i will soon.

This is for Amelia...

Whether continuing playing tuba or not. Here is one quote:

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections

Make use of time, let not advantage slip.
William Shakespeare

Only u urself can make the decision.

So Ah ma. If u truly love tuba but afriad tat it will clash wif time for studying, y not continue it at a later time, it must not be now rite? I don believe tat if u truly love smth but due to circumstances u hav to giv up on it. We'r still young. You & I still hav time to pick up tuba & trombone later. (of cos not so late ah) ;)

Tis is my thoughts after thinking through a day.

The man of wisdom is never of two minds;
the man of benevolence never worries;
the man of courage is never afraid.
Confucius

Hahas a very beautiful quote,
so ppl don't think too much bout ur future. Ur future depends on ur thinking. A positive one will guarantee u success as u follow through ur goals never wavering. But a negative one will of cos guarantee u nth.
Ur future depends on u & u only.
:)

Hey if u wan/can see the prom photos of pig confirm u will laugh one ;)

Looked damn funny on tux.

N wearin some kind of bow tie??

><

From now on Im anti-Aerith...

Cloud & Tifa are meant to be together!!!!

No!

Hahas having small hope tat Lightning might like Hope xp

>< Yay!

Oh n tmr is prom nite....

Wonder wat should i do wif my hair -.-

Haiz although o lvl finished alrdy...
I still feel smth is missing like i got smth important but i hav forgotten wat the hell is it.
Oh n i finally realised it...
Cos i too used to studying alrdy!
I hav the urge to take a bio txtbk n go to revise it ><
Oh no!!!!
N i now finding part time work if i successful enough to get tat job >< i get to eat ice-cream! I think...
So now today my post shall be thanking ppl who had helped me in my o lvl...
Mr Chng: E maths!!! "Do maths!"
Mrs Ng: English & gossips bout teachers in the sch xp
Mr Chen, Mr Gad, Mdm Parimala: For Chem & Chem SPA. Not to forget those man vs wild disgusting videos & hilarious commercials.
Mdm Ng & Loh: Bio & Bio SPA! Some funny moments in class & protecting us from the wrath of Mr Prem.
Mrs Koh: Geography! Bringing me into the fascinating world of geog. Otherwise i would never understand the economic situation of the world especially tourism. & horseshoe crab... *shudders*
Mrs Tan: Ss & His... Mdm Shanti too (His)
Mdm Tay: Chi! U made me appreciate chi language. Quite an impossible feat xp
Mr Tan: Giving me life lessons which can apply to music n studies... :)
"Life goes on"
><

Wahaha... 5 more days to my freedom!
But in these 5 days i will not be slacking i shall practice mcq n at least can assure me a distinction... Although chemistry is a bit hard...
Jy! ><

These days i hav been hearing final fantasy themes for each characters while studying as they r quite soothing & nostalgic.
My particular favourite is To Zanarkand. ( Most of them r sad piano pieces)
Like Aerith's theme... Is so sad (cos she died in the end killed by Sephiroth)
Hope's theme. (He saw how his mum died in front of him)
Cloud's theme (His most cherished friends died n his mother too killed in fact by the same killer...)
Ashe's theme
The price of freedom ( i think its violin n guitar)
Vincent Valentine's theme
Although of cos there r happy ones.
Like the piano piece of Cloud Smiles.
Tifa's theme
Vanille's theme
Serah's theme (half sad, half happy)
Tidus's theme
Yuna's theme in X & X-2
Suteki Da Ne
Fang's theme
N there are action like themes...
Lightning's theme
Blinded by light ( damn strong brass sound in it n saxophone also is fantastic)
Snow's theme
One winged angel

N lastly final fantasy: Crisis Core taught me tat never give up n dream ur dreams but never betray anyone. To be a human... A heroic & honourable one.

Hear them if got time! :)
If u like open another tab go youtube again but tis time play the rainy mood n together wif the sad songs or ur choice. Its nice.

GRR...
Wth...
Damn
Tis is the only thing i can say bout chemistry now.
N geog...
Stop killing my brain cells.
I still nid them for many other subjects!!!!
Argh was happy wif last wk exams but tis week.... starting today starting alrdy suck.
Geography~ Pls don fail me... Otherwise my His n Ss will die along wif u~~~

Tats it period.
I 'officially' giv up on case study of weather n climate!!!!!

Jy ppl!
Tmr is our (real) judgement day.
P.s i said tat cos i remember during syf i wrote judgement day so yea i wan differentiate
Do ur best & hav confidence within urself (n me too)

Final hurdle!


T.T

Tis post is damn slow but yea.
Yes i hav finally graduated.
Yahoo~~
But it means o lvl is damn soon!!!!
Im stressed, but still im still distracted by too many things like computer, new animes comin up.
Oh hey.
Shakugan no shana season 3 is here!!! Yay!!!
But Yuji became evil -.-
Sry from here onwards is for tat series's fans like me XD ( N spoilers)
However from wat i had read from the light novel of shakugan no shana,
Be expected of more yuji n shana's together scenes!!!
Yuji chose Shana by the way xpxpxp
Yay!
N finally Shana really confesses to Yuji.
N u will never guess which nxt couple will come up.
Satou and Margery ( If im not wrong)
Woah i hope the J.C. Staff don spoil the anime ( by the way the light novel isnt finished.)
N now talkin bout studying mcq for sci is goin well but humanities...
Nth is goin in to my head except for history...
Well. Time to re-strategise again... -.-
Haiz...

Well if there's one thing i hav learnt from graduating.
Dont chase things tat r not worth it,
Wats the point?
Well tis tells me im an idiot.
I should stop doin tat.
Maybe its time to let go.
Without forgiveness... There's no hope.
So end it?
>.Well tis isnt a issue no longer.
Its time to move on towards studying more for o lvl -,-

N i actually agree wif khia meng's post about the truth n the lie :)
Don noe?
Check fb.

Life Just got harder with o level just on the horizon.
Its the time for stress and really stick ur butt on the chairs.
Studying and gettin gd results suddenly means ur life to u.
Without it ur better of as nth in this now fast paced world.
Lose out to competitors, or be the victor.
Tats the way tis whole 'globalised' world runs.
N nth else to it...
Ironic?

Update again :)

Hahahaha...

Actually there's really nth to laugh about.

My prelim results sucks.

Haiz although never fail but yea...

My sciences drop like crazy... I cried in bio lesson...

My bio dropped!!!! Although i passed... Even Celia also depressed like me...

Felt like cutting it... But its not goin to be worth it.

But somehow, when at the vice & Principal's lecture...

I almost wif my fingernails...

Reality is harsh...

N matter how much i improve its never gd...

My sci, humanities, language, maths...

I really flunked them.

Yea, now goin through a depression state...

No matter how much i smile.. laugh.. smth else.

I feel damn depressed...

No motivation, no nth...

Its just me & my thoughts..

But despite tat. Im never goin to giv up.

My aim... To go to Singapore poly's biomedical course wif L1R4 of 8...

Die... die must go for it!

& yea just found out smth...

Its never gd to assume... But cos of it, I don think i should confront it anymore.

Assuming others makes u guilty & hurtful but ppl assuming u...

Tat hurts... A lot...

Its over until someone or smth steps out to be confronted & of cos its not me.

I stand by my decisions when Im rite n tis time is damn rite...

Being disappointed is a different matter.

In tis case... Its a matter of judgement, forgiveness and... sometimes the best thing is ignorance is bliss.

"Goodbye..."

Seems like a gd word for tis. Isn't it?

Drip, drip, drip...

hi blog~
Its a freaking long time since i posted anything xp
But ok now Im bac! (I will be updating again after o lvl which is around 2 months)
OK!
First to say... YEA! I HAV FINALLY PASSED MY CHI FOR THE PAST 2 YRS!
N i passed my ABRSM exams too!!!!
Although i only got a feaking pass for it... ( Tat's wat u get for wearin jeans to play a guitar... It keeps sliding off!!! ><)
N yea of cos i cried for my chi. I was hoping for a B4 IS TAT SO HARD TO GET!
I GOT C5!!!
N yea!! My oral got merit XD
Thanks to all of my friends who comforted me when i cried.
I love u guys!
Best Friends!!! <3
N YEA LOLS my o lvl EL oral was ok...
I guess..
N for once thx, i have let go of u...
I would always remember u but i'll try my best to erase them :)
Life is hard but im going to strive forward!
GO GO PRELIMS!!!!
JY my friends :)
I miss band a lot...
I miss playing trombone enormously!!
I miss it!!!
So much...
Its like a heartbreaking ache tat cannot be cured.
Don worry I'll be bac~
Trombone!! xp

Stress...
Stress...
HAIZ!
Life isnt gonna be easy from now on but its gonna be worth it.
XD
:(
JY!
N IM SO SCREWED FOR CHI ORAL & GUITAR EXAMS.
Nxt month take bac results...
NO!!!!

Stressed out...
Tats all i can say of my life starting from term 3...
Going crazy seems to be quite inevitable...
Y all major things r happening at July??
Guitar exam... O lvl chi... Weekly tests... Writing testimonial...
ETC!
Wth...
But there's one gd news is tat im proud of howjin.
I don regret putting him on 1st trombone xp
He's trying his best.
N tat keeps on trying!
His playing has improved especially in monmouth overture :)
I feel very touched!!!
Tears comin to my eyes now.
His attitude was way better than my in sec 2...
I let depression overcome me... But he didnt let his.
For tat im really proud of him.
N i dont regret havin a junior like him n also i dont regret placing him in 1st trombone. XD
A life lesson learned...
never give up even during depression!

Damn i felt jealous when i saw huayi's band camp photos...
Y cant mayflower hav one...
We hav not been havin it since last yr's March -.-
(Tats a freakin long time ago...)
Nice rite...
WTH!
N miss mok wanted to do a band chalet~
But when???!!!
End of the yr can arh but its a freakin long time...
Haiz i wanted to do smth together wif all the sec 4 seniors plus the sec 5s too... Before i step down ><
I miss the syf days!!!! (Excluding the bad n crying times)
Wth... I can't believe until now... Im the 1st person to cry after syf -.-'''

Haiz now im emo-ing.
I feel tat tis June holiday has not being meaningful at all...
I didnt study hard at all...
I didnt study my his n ss... except for globalisation... terrorism... Venice...
ZZZ...
Geog isnt goin into my head at all...
Bio n chem n partially e maths got study...
Lols.
N i think im kidding myself wif him...
I think i no longer already...
Since i really find no feelings when i see him or hear his voice... Hahas maybe.

Lols, im studying tis few days for theory work. N it seems finally i memorised mitosis process already.
Meiosis is a different story...
Today i shall study ss...
Anyways lets not elaborate anymore on tat, i hav a feeling tat ppl will start getting even more depressed... CHEER UP PPL!
Come on determination and motivation can't come out in just one day!
U must do smth to earn it... Moreover, u must work hard for it!!
xo
Hey! Im goin to enjoy myself at the GSS!
The great Singapore sale!
Tis is goin to cure my now throbbing headache xp

Im currently hooked on reading fanfic and no its not tat one.
I m reading pokemon fanfic xpxp
Hahas call me watever u wan but i like reading them.
Some of them are really gd!
XO
Maybe i should start practicing my guitar but somehow im lazy xp
Exam comin up but im not practicing it... -.-
Damn...
Haiz...
Anyways roger out!

Hahas~!
Went for anderson jc tune in on wed xp
Its fun but at the same time scary...
All the band members there are very bonded :)
N CRAZY! especially the trombone section...
They called one of the guy's name of Joseph, Josephine -.-
I can't get the link...
N yea of cos the trombone sl is crazy... Even more crazier than me. xo
But their playing... omg!
Anderson jc's brass section got power! Fantastic! They r also very in tune!!!
Apparently they listened to the drone of the chord ( I think its spelled like tat.)
which determines whether they r in tune or not..
N freaking gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have Yamaha Xeno Trombone!!!!!!! XD

However the scary part is Mr Alvin Seville...
His words r like extremely sharpened sword can cut through hard n cleanly...
He scared the hell of me when suddenly he saw me carrying my beloved mouthpiece and asked to see it...
He began to feed me wif some info of my mouthpiece.
Crafted by Christain... smth i forgot his name... xp
After tat he smiled at me.
N i rushed off...

Anyways it was fun.
& AH MA!
I conveyed ur lots of love to ah gong!
Loudly!
His friend heard it xp
Hahas ur famous!
So scandalous :x
Oh yea jyh harng was there too n wow he looked stressed out.
But he still has his humour.
To my surprise, got huayi ppl who went. 4 of them specifically.
I wonder who invited them. Jyh harng? I guess so...
:)

Gosh, im giddy.
N crap... I sms-ed yilian on her birthday late cos i almost forgot -.-
Wat a nice best friend i am...
Idiotic me...
Sry rabbit~ =p

Haiz...
Im gettin weird moods lately...
Don noe y.
But i feel smth...
Dont feel like sayin it.
I hope its nothin. Getting weird vibes.
Studying?
Friendships?
Stress?
Idk...
I feel weird.
Almost to the breaking point of watever im feeling...
Maybe its just stress.
I wont worry so much about it.
I guess.
Hope its nth.
*
Gosh my post itself is weird!
Maybe i should see the counsellor or smth. xoxp
Im gettin weirder...
I noe im not depressed emo or watever terms u can come out wif the feeling: sadness, agony etc...
But wat is it im feeling? weird is it not?
Contradicting myself here -,-

Well watever it is, i will continue to be positive. Optimistic :)

Im gonna chiong study!!!
Today e maths tomorrow GEOG!
Plate tectonics ur goin down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+ weather & climate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coast too!!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna chiong chem tomorrow too!!!!!!!
Im gonna get A1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8 points for o lvl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XD

Its a long time since i posted anything xo
i think...
Oh yea... its late but happy birthday choon hiang!

Thx to my stupid bro...
I hav no access to my comp -.-
N my results sucks~! TTM!
Wth.
Damn disappointed leh... o lvl comin n i still givin tis shitty results.
GRR~

N hahas, great news i hav let go.
But only to return to the first...
Oh well its better.
I miss the solemness
emoness
weird sense of humour
sarcasm
irritation
laughter
xp

Hey ppl pls go to the youtube n find mythbusters: trombone.
I guarantee u it will not be a waste of ur time~ XD
Go trombones!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops i forgot to blog bout my day...
Damn...
Haiz...
I feel so hyped after borrowing 13tolife series xo
But now i nothin to read sian...
My mum even forbid me go sws n band~
I can't play my trombone liao ;(
Damn!!!!!!
I miss my lovely trombone... Wo de bao bei ah~~~~ :(
Crying liao.
N exams damn!!!!!!!!! SO NOT lookin forward to the release of it...
But anyway my mum promised to buy me pokemon black/white version xo Wohoo!!~
League Champion title here i come!!! XD

Its a crappy thing really, don't worry about it.
Tats what I'm tryin to tell myself but somehow it doesn't seem to work.
"Haiz"
Got glares from my neighbour...
Suppressing my sigh again, I gave him a forced smile.
"Sorry..."
"Damn it! Stop feeling sorry for yourself for once and start doing something! Saying sorry isn't gonna help, Missy."
Damn it. If it is that easy for me...
I gave him an indifferent shrug and walked to the swing left available by the retreating kids.
From there, my mind just suddenly expanded, thoughts that i didn't want to acknowledge intruded into my mind.
Made worse by droplets of water flowing down my face.
Thanks, I thought.
He came and stood in front of me, looking concerned with a hint of annoyance on his face.
Suddenly I felt guilty towards him, he had always been the one cleaning up the mess i had left behind...
Suddenly an idea strucked me... Hoping that I don't get slapped or something in return... I leaned forward quickly, surprising him, and kissed his stunned lips.
Hmm... It felt so warm compared to our surroundings.
And so pleasing...
Which comforted me a lot and provided me a very ingenious idea :)
I pulled back and he smiled happily at me.
"So are u going to do something about it?" he asked.
I grinned back at him.
"Hell yes..."

Lols its just a story with no relations to anyone so yea xp
I felt random so i wrote it... hahas its for fun.

"Tis is my confession...
Its my life..."

By glee. ( Its my life)

My now favourite singers xo ( group actually)

Ok got sidetracked.
Anyways its bout Sheryl.
( Almost same as Ah ma one)
I don feel anything when i slapped u in case ur wondering...
Although, i could do quite well for my geog.
N ya like i said i'm tired of ur lies, crocodile tears, queen drama n betrayals.
I'm also tired of keep forgiving n patching up wif u.
When u never changed.
Tis is not forgiveness.
U claimed u wan to be a Christan...
But hav u ever thought of wat forgiving means?
Go find out urself, i don forgive u out of nothin.
Ur out of my life.
Ah ma may hav forgiven u...
But i don't. Not now.
Forgiving is not equals to patching up.
Get tat.
Don worry if tis giv u some condolences...
I will always forgive u.
But patching up is a different matter...
I don hate u
But i'm irked by u...
Actions speak louder than words
Get tis in ur head.
Don ever giv empty promises anymore not to mention empty words of friendship.
No one will listen.

Isolation??
She thought so...
Lookin up at the sky, so clear, so blue, n so beautiful.
It hurts to see it... Hurts so much to see it...
As a tear swept down her already washed cheek...

A long time sinec i blog anything...
Haiz first of all i'm damn tired, i fall sleep during bio lesson twice -.-
Shit i can't afford to miss anything in bio ><
Second so conclusion: only 2 ccas in sch got gold...
Chi dance n of cos sch's favourite performing arts cca, chi orchestra.
Well at least they broke the silver curse....
N wow studying had just become a killer...
Im dying in bio, chem, geog, el n chi....
WTH....
Dying here...
Band haiz i cant go bac there anymore cos i wearin braces liao~ on 27th tis month, just 5 days from now...
I will be goin to tan tock seng to attend my 1st dental appointment... N i heard the doctor is damn scary... *glup* die liao :(
but att least on sun i can sws to play... If i wan... blast!!!!
Hahas they yamaha custom trombone leh :(
When miss mok buying yamaha xeno for mfcb!!!!!!!!!????????????
If i like tat i'm gonna blackmail her liao... xpxo

Yea i notice tis few days the ppl i always talked to is shimin & tingwei...
Yilian? haiz... let her hav her time wif her frenz esp in class she talked to lili... Not even me n tingwei managed to talk to her...
Ah ma? Did not talk to her tis few days, n also nth to talk bout... idk y but yea i just guess tis few days r tiring enough for me... Fragile yea... but idk...
Sheryl? giv her time to go to her na frenz... anyways the clique except for her graduating.
Now im spending most of my time wif yixuan, orhji, trash n ch'ng yi they all...
Its really nice for a change, i miss them a lot esp chasing each other around, being sadistic n diabolical.
talkin bout movies songs n stuffs...
But yea maybe i nid some time away from the clique manners to concentrate on exams.
After o lvl chi then i figure out wat i wan to do wif the fragile things in the clique...
Its fragile alrite but we nid study first then clear everything out later...
I'm so tired... so tired... damn tired...

Mayflower concert band got sliver!!
Omg, we maintained our sliver! Again and Again by 2pm~
Yesterday during recess, someone dedicated tis song to the band n ah ma, sheryl n i were singing together wif it n saying mayflower get sliver again and again~ xpxp
*
Darn it hasn't hit me yet i'm now an ex senior of band.
Maybe i wont... But somehow i think im gonna cry again... I shall miss mfcb! n of cos my section n instrument! ;)
Speaking bout crying... Again ( y does tis always happened to me... -.-) I was the first person to cry AGAIN -,- I broke down after coming down the stairs at the foyer... -,-
Danse Diabolique... broke down immediately exiting the hall... -,-
N tis yr... now tis...
Wth -,-
Argh!
Anyways im happy but somehow i felt we should hav gotten a gold cos for taishan...
But judging bout the chij toa payoh n the time we spent practicing... erm...
Im just contented to hav sliver... Though i mind not having gotten gold...
:x
Ppl loved taishan including the judges! Tats wat i heard... But who cares! We did Mt. Taishan proud! XD We didn't ruined its honour at all!! XD
Singapore Flyer idk how did we manage to play the beginning fanfare but...
It has improved!!!
Erm for ur info, i still cannot tongue tat part properly even one hour before the competition.
So wat happened bac at the hall... Shall remain as a mystery... 0.0

Haiz... 5 more days to syf n after tat i can't touch my trombone anymore... No, no!!!
I can't believe life really flashes by us... One moment i'm in 2009 syf another moment i'm now goin towards 2011 syf... Reminiscing, tat day...
Yea, yea no one will ever let me forget tat i cried on tat day cos of a mistake...
Damn everyone remembered...
So yea i'm now hoping tat history does not repeat itself.... HOPE!
Believe it or not i had been imagining scenarios of mfcb... Getting gold/ silver/ bronze.
N even the scenario wher the announcer say mfss bronze then suddenly realises his/her mistake then announced we got gold... I can safely say i will cry my heart out. Nice rite? Its not being delusional, its just being optimistic...
Dammit, caught up at the fact tat i didn't see it comin at all...
When i when in sec 4 beginning of the yr, i thought bout o lvl syf etc but stepping down from band has never crossed my mind till yesterday's convo wif ah ma... haiz none of us can stay away from not playing instruments, main band practices wif mr tan. ;( tuba... trombone...
I honestly really feel like crying. Its so sad, i feel empty not goin to band wif mr tan in it n even worse without my trombone...
I had never felt like tat bac in amkp band... Idk?
Its damn.... don noe how to explain...

Epic day today, y? Cos... ( I'm boasting here xpxp)
I walked the whole 2.4km run xpxp
N never got caught xpxp
N my timing epic one... 24 mins xpxp
It was an experiment done by Ng Zi Yan, Ervina n Me!
Order of event:
After the fire drill -,- cher told us, time to run.
Ok lor but i wanted to walk, Zi Yan agreed to do it. Later Ervina joined in.
I then thought Zi Yan not serious so i ran wif Ervina then suddenly she called me.

Convo: Zi Yan: I thought u say u wan to walk?
Me: Oh yea.... ( xpxp)
Ervina: Oh then we walk for fun.

N while tis convo came out.
The 4I boys heard it.
N yea they followed us epic 1/4 of the 4I guys- Nicholas, Wei Xiong, Guan Wei, Chun Yong, Y i Fan, Samuel n others if i not wrong... ( I think... there a lot though...) They too walked. U can see half the class running, n another one walkin. xpxp No cher suspected anything so we continued walkin, later at 2nd round the guys ran...While the trio continued walkin until... Chia Ee paced us, though I felt so proud wahaha~~~ xpxp

Epic Pe lesson xpxp
Hahas~~~~

Haiz wat i wrote on the clique blog is nth. So u all can just ignore it.
There's nth wrong n happening.
Apart from the fact i feel sleepy~
I almost forgotten damn hailarious, mr tan stopped whole band in the middle of tai shan,
n told us. He had to stop cos me n yilian n tingwei were wearing our class tee n it looked damn funny- superwomen he called us cos our front is superman sign but instead of s its 4I! XD. Gosh, it was epic xpxp I had decided never to wear 4I class tee to band practice anymore xpxp.
*
N regret is such a pointless emotion.
U had done it, wats the point of feeling regret.
U wished to change the past but sry our scientists hadn't figured tat out yet
Wat's the point.
Even if u had changed it.
Nth will ever be the same again.
The only thing regret had done was to make u think of the consequences of ur decisions, choices u can actually chose from instead of the latter.
But again, wats the point....

Tis few days... Really is gonna be a death of me!
Camp success is driving me crazy!!!!!
Lols workshops... FOR WAT MAN!
Not like we're idiots os smth n hello i noe how to write a narrative leh.
Damn so tiring, no band somemore...
I now suffering from "trombone withdrawal syndrome" :( I miss playing trombone~
Damn i noe i gonna step down soon but still...
Gah, sch say camp success prepare us for o lvl but they giv us cip for wat?
Lols tis the most important yr n u still giv us tis kind of things, don forget tis is also syf yr wth -.-
I slp in class can't believe it -,-
I wan study also got prob meh! I wan intentsive studying!!!!!
Not tis kind of camp. Though i don mind the his module one xpxp
Berlin Wall!! xpxp
The wall which seperated eastern germany from western germany.
The collapse of it meant freedom tat the Germans had all hoped for.
In less then one yr, Germany was reunited together as one country.
:)
Haiz, i feel dam tired. -,-

Wohoo -,- i just found out i got short term memory.

I totally forgot yesterday, got anderson jc concert.
I only remembered halfway during huayi's exchange... -,-
N instead of tat i was thinkin of my hwk -.-
Damn... Anyways, i just found out yesterday yilian can blast -.-'''
As the section leader, i should hav known tat, but no, i thought she couldnt.
Don talk bout howjin... His is uncontrollable one, don noe when will he blast.
Mine... blast at singapore flyer beginning for wat -.- make no sense.
Our sg flyer so damn unstable ;(
Tai shan sounds way better ( though tat has been always the case for mf -.- choice piece will always be better then set piece) xpxp
N ppl praise mf gd playing but honestly we r weakest batch to go for syf. Just look at 2003 syf batch... They played earth leh... ;( Damn difficult song even mr tan is damn proud of them...
N guess wat yesterday the ajc concert was damn well played! Love the trombone section!!!
N after tat howjin, yilian, yanjia n i went to see chua chee han n jyh harng.
Ah gong said mf is at the sliver medal standard liao ( the last time he was there...)
Yilian: looks damn happy
Me: Incredulous
Yanjia: wide eyes
Howjin: confused xpxp
Huayi play better than us leh... Their dynamics is there, ours... reluctant to do it.
Hiaz~~~~~
Tis is confusing.

Long time since i had posted anything in my blog...
Kinda of lying there dead X.X
Sry blog~
Tis march holiday, was tiring but i enjoy playing trombone~ <3
Hahas, maybe its cos i gonna step down soon tats y i feel tat way.
Anyways in response to ah ma's post on sheryl.
I noe shimin n tingwei must not be happy wif my decision.
Yea i noe, im quite indecisive.
I can't follow smth through the end n end up my frens get dragged along wif it.
Stupid me.
N when amelia told the whole clique she forgave sheryl. I felt like a burden on me was being released.
At least im not the only who felt tat way.
When shimin first told me bout tat incident, i was so damn mad at sheryl. Cannot forgive her nor talk even think bout her.
N then came common test, i bury all my attention onto studying but somehow sheryl kept creeping bac to my mind.
N soon common test passed, i unwillingly thought of sheryl n suddenly i realised deep inside of me, i had alrdy forgiven her. Not to mention bout the fact she was the first person to welcome me, the first best friend in there.
N all of tis just made me decide, to forgive n patch up wif her.
But of cos, tat goes without saying.
We will quarrel again... But somehow i feel, let me worry bout tat later.
I don wan to think too much again...
So tired...
Sry to shimin n tingwei.
Really... Blame myself for doin tis decision, idk wat i will do when soon the time comes tat tis will happen again but i wan to treasure our whole clique's friendship.
I miss those times, a lot, so much.
I miss the gl-ing of each other n makin fun of each other.
I miss those times we gossiped, joked n laughed bout the 2 huayi guys.
I miss those times wher we went out together.
Most importantly of all, I miss the way things were before, the friendship we had.
I miss them a lot.

Hey guys! Out of random here but...
I would like u all to hear smth! For info its inside my mixpod...
In 2009 syf:
Yuying & Anderson Sec played: Tone poem for wind orchestra -And then the ocean glows by Satoshi Yagishawa (Its freaking nice almost like tai shan tone poem style)
Hwa Chong High: Machu Picchu by Satoshi Yagishawa
Ang Mo Kio Sec: With heart & voice by David. R Gillingham ( Brass must be damn strong in tis song, omg tonguing!!!! Trombone melody! French horn... Unique melody xp)
N finally... Maris Stella High: To my comrades by Shimizu Daisuke (same composer as tangle woods overture) Hell! Tis is also freaking nice any trumpet players will be jealous got nice solo part n french horn... Woodwinds totally amazing!!!! Trombone damn nice intonation there ;(

Basically people listen to them!!!!
All these songs r played by gold band just so u noe...
So tis songs r difficult to play!!!!
Personally i luv and then the ocean glows n with heart n voice ( the most difficult piece i had ever heard, none of us can play even huayi ppl, ride n sevens is nth compared to it no offense...)
Tis is not demoralise us so just u noe.
Its to remind us tat there r damn a lot songs we don noe in tis world n they r amazing n of cos damn difficult ones too :x
So pls enjoy them!

Hey, such a long time since i hav posted anything in it...
Yea, like im gonna say again my life is so damn tiring n stressed!
Grr...
Anyways just did the 2nd chem spa, it was easy... Maybe a 8 mark?
Hahas xp
*
Band is tiring but enjoyable. More jokes on the way. N i heard our syf recording.
OMG! no words can describe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tis whole wk is literally killing the hell out of me!
I can't believe i slept in class...
Tis sucks...
Y i'm so freaking tired?
Stress, ya u got it...
Exams. of cos!
Argh, but somehow band seems to make my life less insane.
Despite these things, i did smth unexpected.
Smth i always hav disregarded in my whole life...
Won't say but the ppl noe.
Oh yea the reply to me was: Hahas no la. I'm busy really.
So maybe its the truth?
Don nid get so fed over, scarely telling the truth...
Idk?
N wth is wrong wif ppl nowadays!!!!!
So fed-up!
Ok. I hav decided, do watever u wan but pls not my business, i don care.
Just stop rubbing in my face!
Tis sucks!!!!
I hate tis!

Hey!
Long time i had not posted anything.
But i would like to inform u guys ( or rather say) bout two songs :)
1. Nottingham sketches ( my pri sch choice piece for 2005 syf xp)
2. Please give me wings ( a song tat my pri sch never completed)
N now they're in my mix pod, pls listen to them especially pls giv me wings.
Its beautiful!
I <3 tat song ever since i was in pri 4 :)
Tis wk has been quite stressful plus last wk.
So many random test keep popping up. N my geog was a failure :(
Haiz, so tired but sec 4 maths is unexpectedly easy ;)
Especially matrics!
They rock!
Well i shall stop writing here ( i hav maths tuition xp)
So yea see ya till nxt wkend!
Oh wait before i forget, Ah Ma!
Tmr there's a movie in disney channel n its called avalon high!
I'm not sure u like the bk but yea just telling u only~

Hey i'm bac~~
Hahas tis cny holidays havv been damn fun!
I visited an active volcano!!!!!!!!! Omg i can sulfur all over it's vent n it's still sprouting up smoke!!!
Woo~~~ Its amazing especially for geog!!!!
Hahas, i went to lot's of unique places like the hot springs :) but i didn't manage to soak in it cos of my little mian bao :)
I bought a replica of a Gibson guitar :) n it's hot pink!!! The pic up there...
Whee~~~
N i saw the yamaha trombone in Jakarta... I almost cried there, it's so beautiful... so in tune even when blasting :(
Haiz...
Peeps sry i didn't manage to buy u all souveniers... My bag too many things n i don't hav $$... :(
N yeah i noe i'm whiney but i'm goin say tis again...
*
Pls guys... Don't be so demoralised... Lols not like me i almost cried while shopping overseas lookin at the trombone...
Let's all jy! ok?
Just cos of one person pointing middle fingers at us ( i appreciate the thought of it but not the actionz...)
We got so demoralised....
Well let's buck up!!!
N jy! ( again xp)
JY for syf!!! :)

There's smth i must tell ppl here n it concerns mfss concert band...
Ok if there's any huayi ppl seeing tis ya i don mind...
Mr Ng ( ya the east spring guy...)
He said huayi has better harmony than mayflower which i totally agree.
N he said our sch percussion section is very guai lan, proud, no discipline at all...
Tat one stumped me... Okok i don noe...
Leave it to ppl to decide themselves...
I won't carry on bout wat he said... I won't say them cos it will cause big problems to mayflower
N just read jun rong's post.
He said tat the elizabeth gal say huayi very guai lan... Lols...
Tell her go die la... Nobody ask her cher, Mr Tay to bring them to the exchange n seriously play memories of friendship damn badly... Remember got one part tats totally quiet ya the solo instruments aren't there n he still continue playing... Their choice piece also suck... suppose to sound powerful, but they flop it...
Hiyah...
Anyways, mr tan purposely went there to trash the first toa payoh... Cos of Mr Tay...
N also put huayi in front of firat toa payoh... xp
Yay huayi trashed them outside down! Yahoo!!!!
N of cos mayflower ain't gd ourselves so let's jyjy!!

I won't repeat wat i said to ah ma. But u get the message :)
U did it!
Anyways,
bout today's exchange tat our clique (being xtra went... ps: not for hyss ppl, its FIRST TOA PAYOH secondary sch!) attended.
Ok generally, of cos yuying played well... -.- Its their sch hall anyway n they went japan to top it off...
Yea huayi... Sry no offense to hyss ppl who see tis post...
Ur all shaky... Like to scared to play...
Omg, now the other sch part:
Juying played jericho... It sucks -.- ( i noe mfss also suck in playing but really literally they play damn sucky...)
I will skip till first toa payoh...
The conducter... Hiyah... Pls! How dare u play memories of friendship without two instruments...
N not to mention they play solo at one part leh...
N from wat mr tan said bout those sch who played singapore flyer...
Their E are unstable... Really...
So yea i'm not saying our sch play well or anything...
But from tis exchange i learnt a lot from the mistakes the bands did including huayi, n i goin use those to help me in the sectionals.

Hmm...
I hav been thinking a lot nowadays.
N i just came to tis conclusion of leaving things to God's hands, Hallelujah...
I won't wan to disappoint myself wif my expectation.
For band.
So thus, i shall not really think deeply bout tat & n just go wif the life's flow...
& yea it translate to i'm being very resigned bout band...
If we can yea let's jia you :)
& Try not to think too much of it...

Hey its been awhile since i posted so yea i shall do a short summary of the recent happenings here:
Stress!
SYF Marching video = it sucks to the max ( using our Roxanne's "beautiful" vocabulary here)
Our marching sucks...
Lost my temper at How Jin n Sheryl due to again stress...
Mr tan scolding at our lack of discipline
Too much hw
Informed of around 6 tests nxt wk! ( don complain here)
Informed by cher i will be taking ABRSM grade 2 classical guitar exam ( it costs $200+... -,-)
My lovely new trombone's quotation has been sent to the general office but they're in the state of chaos due to other $ matters -.-'''
Okok... now here's come the complaining part...
WTH IS WRONG WIF MFSS!?
DAMN IT U GIV US 6 TESTS IN ONE FREAKING WK!
( for double sci class... triple... i offer u my condolences...)
wth...wth...wth...
U wan kill us?!
Giv us so many damned tests in one wk!
Not to mention my humanities are also popping up!
Argh! Now stress sia!
Damn tis mfss!!!!!
Only band however is keeping my sanity....
If not for band i'm already insane!
T.T

Today's jun rong birthday, well happy birthday!
Not the main pt though ( no offense to jun rong xp)
Well yesterday i studied bio :) the whole sec 3 syllabus!
Today is chem! Dammit mole concept is killing me... I can't remember the formula!!!
Okok wait let me revise~ [ those ppl ( u noe whom i refering to)... pls refrain from reading the chem section n pls carry on to the last part >< ]
concentration= no. grams(mole)/vol of the solution( in dm3)
So thus no. of mol...
no.of mol= concentration( mol/dm3) times vol.of solution (dm3)
Molar vol. of the gas is 24 dm3...
percentage yield= actual mass of the product/the theorical mass times 100%
percentage purity= mass of actual pure substance/mass of sample times 100%
Kk done!
But idk tis will help but its worth the try... ><
( Hav a feeling anyone reading tis will kill me or smth... *shudders*)
T.T
Well anyways [ bac to being :) ]
Happy birthday jun rong! ( if ya reading tis...)
Appreciate ur sec 3 yr! Cherish it! Cos in sec 4, life is total HELL! ( not onli refering to ur hw load though, its also to A maths etc... xp)
*
OK! bac to my chem!
T.T

T.T
Dammit due to the pure sci classes' "lovely" marks... -,-
Now Mr Prem wan giv us a "qualifying" test to make us see reality whether or not r we suitable for pure sci... Though he won't force us to drop it...
Omg now everyone rushing to study alrdy...
Haiz, when i say i'm worried...
U noe wat ppl tell me especially shimin, tingwei, daisy, mund, ah ma & zi yan...
Ur sci gd lah... Don nid worry...
Lols doesn't tat make me feel even more stress as ppl expect me to get a A1.
Hell la, i noe i can get A1 but, stop telling me tis things...
I wan to be treated like a normal bio/chem student wher no one tells me like "aiya, u gd one la or u don nid study can get gd result or even i expect more from u"
Hell... pls just let me be normal even though i like it when ppl praise me but...
I don like it, at all...
Band...
I really love it
N i shall go forward n clinch my goals!
How jin is really improving XD Yilain is catching up!
Yay, i feel much more better alrdy :)
Look out SYF!
Ur goin down!

Today i got a junior... A Cedar primary sch player... He's a korean (according to mr tan) n he plays first trombone there...
Erm, i noe i should feel happy but.. he's snobbish...
He can play high notes though...
Gd news: got the trombone quotation from mr tan... Can giv miss mok liao!!!
i learnt how to debate (from mr tan) xp
secret is twist n turn ur opponent's words.
xp

N honestly i damn fed up wif miss mok... Y she complain everything bout us n in particular the graduating batch... Wth is tis?
Complain us to ex seniors, they come bac scold us wif vulgarities...
WTH!
If she not happy, then just say so ah!
Must resort to tis...
Damn pissed off wif her sia!!!
*
*
After today's o lvl result... It sucks...
N the top o lvl student is from 4E! wow!
Combined sci leh...
Ok i'm decided!
I shall still aim for anglo chinese junior college!
I shall get 10 n below!
Honestly i wan 8 xp

Someone said tat we are selfish, our laid-back attitude SUCK TO THE MAX, problematic,
never care for miss mok's feelings, we don care bout syf & we don act like a graduating batch.
Shut up la! Shut the hell up!!!
We don nid u to tell us bout tat.
I noe we suck, selfish, laid-back, don giv a damn bout miss mok blah blah...
But hav u forgotten tat we went for the 2009 syf?!
Of cos we noe how syf is like!!
We hav been through it! Hell!!!
We are 16 (some 17...) old enough to think ok!
We did our best but u guys clearly don appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!
I keep sacrificing for band like ah ma, shimin, sheryl, ting wei n yilian...
But wat did i get in return?
Nth + vulgarities + screaming + shouting in our face!!!
Hell la u! Ur supposed to encourage us but...
Argh!
We don nid u at all u noe.
If u not happy wif us just shut the hell up!!!!!!
I really wan to giv up u noe! Everyone wants to! Cos of u, our painstakingly built morale had been destroyed!! Our hard work came to nought!
Wth ah!!!
If u on mon dare to scream at us... I tell u i'will just walk off + tellin u straight 'shut the hell up, we don nid u to scream vulgarities on our faces.'
N misss mok not the only one suffering, mr tan neh?
HAV U EVER SPARED A THOUGHT FOR HIM!
Ur an ex member u noe!!!!
Im so pissed of by u!!!!!!
Ur words had left a very deep scar in my heart...
I wan to giv up but...
Cos of these things i won't...
I love trombone a lot.
My cca points.
Mr Tan.
SYF.
Silver/Gold.
.
.
.
So pls just shut the hell up n tis includes the rest of the ex seniors!
I don wan to hear tis anymore!

Haiz, i'm changing the way i write now...
Hmm... After reading ah ma & sheryl posts.
Actually, i half agree n half don't.
For one thing, I agree cos i can sense tat our band is seperated. Different clique groups...blah...blah...
N another thing is, if u say tat.
Won't it mean tat u from the start alrdy don hav the confidence to bond together as a band.
My section now is starting to get closer cos we always discuss thing together & even hav a casual chat. Rite yilian? Especially during the time we went to the field to play long notes n from there we started to chat ( of cos during break time la~) bout our section outing...choosing the locations & discussing bout our instrument & section tee we're goin to make together wif the trumpet section.
Sometimes, u must look deep into the thing n not only sense the thing.
On the surface we may not look like it but there are sometimes tat we actually really bond into one section, ( the one band part i not really sure though)...
Like i said, its we the ones who can do it, but do u hav the confidence, way n attitude to do it?
I believe in my section :) ( Hmm, i hav a feeling yilian maybe touched by tis xp)
N i even hav faith in the tuba n euphonium section xp plus the french horn n trumpet :)
If i can bond wif trumpet y can't the whole band ( i had some issues wif junyang until now, i even dislike ((really dislike)) him for tat) but i forgot tat cos i noe we nid to work together as a band.
*
N yeah there is one thing i agree wif sheryl is tat i hav given up on mayflower secondary school.
But not the band, not my friends, not my cher(s)- only my favourite ones though..., not my subjects which i now takin.
But the more i think bout it... Tis sch actually helped me go express, go into a double sci class, helped me find my friends especially the clique, it also helped me find bac wat i lost 7 yrs ago: my commitment to playing my instrument :) Now i even luv it XD
For tat i thank mayflower secondary school... I found somethings tat i really wan...love...hate...
Cos of tis sch, it made me even more treasure n appreciate trombone :)
N history, biology, chemistry n geography :)

span style="color:#66ff99;">HAPPY NEW YEAR xp

P.s. for late posting...

Anyways on 1/1/11 i made a few resolutions for 2011!!!

1. I shall score 10 n below for my o lvl!!!

2. I shall even more treasure my time in mayflower secondary school! Especially wif the clique n trash, ou ji, yi xuan, zi yan, mund, chngyi. N of cos my class 4I'11

Hahas

3. Get sliver for tis yr SYF! N then step down from band knowing we did our best n maintained our sliver... For Mr Tan!

4. Take damn gd care n even more treasure my new-soon-to-be yamaha trombone!

(Hey, hey, u noe the trombone is not gold in colour! Its copperish!! A bit of chemistry here: tis brass has a higher percentage of copper in it thus givin my new trombone tat colour!

N mr tan say it giv a much more mellow sound than gold n sliver trombone. XD

5. I shall not fumble during my SPA exams!

6. ABRSM exams... Ur goin down!!

7. I shall be much more better to my section especially wif my new juniors!! I shall also improve my section's playing n their tuning!! Jy!!! XD

8. Lastly, tis yr to be memorable like last yr especially the times spent wif mayflower concert band & huayi ppl (refering to all of the band members) those times were fun! Epic sometimes xp

*

O lvl, syf, abrsm n stress! Ur all goin down! I'm goin to tackle u all face down!