Finally a comeback

Yes, I am finally back on blogger.

My blog used to be a place for me to vent my anger or publish something that made me smile.

SO simply put I must be either sad or happy to post... Oh! well... my first comeback post is gonna be about my depressing thoughts.

Okay, 2015 is definitely a challenging year since I am about to graduate. The amount of work and content that I have to study is really making me tired. I can't study like I used to and also I lack discipline to go through it.

I am tired of sleeping at 3 to 4 am almost every night just because I wanna take a small nap or watch something I like before doing my work. I am sick of it. But at the same time, I feel happy and balanced that I get to play my games and watch anime at the cost of longer sleep... 

...Weird right?

And because of this schedule, every plans I made had been thrown out of the window. I cannot wake up early or should I say too tired to bother waking up to go to band on last Sat. I really wanted to play trombone. But because of this can't be bothered-cum-fatigue action of mine... No matter what I say now. It's been done. In addition, I forgot to inform my friend that I will meet him later that day. Huh, what kind of friend am I.

Furthermore, I forgot all my homework. And most of them are group work. SHIT ME SHIT ME SHIT ME SHIT ME. I feel like I'm losing control of everything. I feel like cutting. I feel like screaming in anger at everything. I feel like destroying something. 

Haiz, that's what I feel but not like I am gonna do any of it now.

Honestly, about friendships. I feel like somehow I don't know anything. But I guess that's why people call it a learning process. I am still learning it, maybe its hard but I guess I will make do with it. Friendships are very delicate, I just found out.

I don't think I have what it takes in me to sacrifice myself for friendships. But yes, I am learning now. It's pretty amazing in some ways how friendships change the way we go through our lives.

If you honestly ask me now, I do not know. Thanks for telling me all of that. I can't really reply to you. Cause I really don't know what to say. Yes, we can be friends though :)

I claim that I am not open with people, but honestly, I do not have anything within me. Sure I have problems and everything but I am an empty person. Always been that and will be. I have nothing but weightless thoughts in my head. 

Well enough of depressing thoughts. 

Hi~~

I'm back with new updates on my life (actually not so much on my life but what I like to do)

Firstly, I'm hooked on anime and manga. Oh well, everyone knows that... And I'm watching the new and the old ones everyday.

Secondly, I'm very tired to the point I kinda cannot concentrate at class

Thirdly, I really have no updates. But!!!

Sasuke is back in Naruto!!! I shall watch and read Naruto from now on!!!

The long awaited reunion is here XDXDXD

So happy!!!!

Anyways, school is kinda uneventful now. Only thing coming up is tests -.- No surprise there. 

Haiz I shall work my ass off this semester and bring up my GPA!!!

Gambatte kudasai minna-san!!! XD

I'm back again!~

Long time no see~~~ Lol

Anyways, I don't really have anything to update about except that I changed my blog skin and theme. This time it's about anime. All the anime I have been currently or finished watching them. I love anime~^^

<3

I'm back from a long hiatus again~

This time I'm blogging bout my 18th bdae^^ Whoops~! The long awaited blog post that Ah ma has been waiting for :)

Let's start out by saying that Amelia was late, supposedly meeting at Amk hub to celebrate my bdae. & she started telling me only she could make it. The rest had smth on... Ting Wei was too lazy to go out. Shimin was apparently pissed off that I couldn't go with her to Huayi's syf on Monday cos of work. So basically no one except for Ah ma didn't come. Well, I was ok but a little sian cos of it. Then suddenly when we reach the garden at second floor, Ah ma asked me to close my eyes and she led me ( I feared for my life that I will bang onto smth as Ah Ma doesn't have the best directions in the world) to this pavilion ( I think its called that or a gazebo) then, allowed me to open my eyes. Lets say I was damn shocked to see a board with all my photos with my friends posted on it and letters too. Well too shocked to notice some people sneaking up on me and suddenly popped at me. I screamed like a pansy... -.-

Hahas, well.. I was damn surprised to see Shimin & Tingwei behind me... And they even roped my brother into it.

What a birthday surprise... Hahas the best I received in my whole life! XD

Well, I loved every moment of it except for the cake bashing part by Amelia and Shimin -.-

Hahas Ting Wei was laughing the whole way... Thanks! ><

And of course the presents~

I received a lego giant panda from Ting Wei. So cute~~~~!!! And a happy birthday letter from her too with cute Ting Wei-ish drawings~ Thanks so much~!

From Shimin was a I love London bag. Hahas I like it a lot, well partly cause I love London and it's my dream to go there. Thanks to Harry Potter XD

From Ah ma, today I just received the eevee evolutions of Umbreon, Flareon, Glaceon and Leafeon. XDXDXDXDXD I <3 THEM 

From Sheryl, I received a DIY pillow with Kuori on it. Hahas so cute!!! XDXD

Thanks eveyone^^ It was a very memorable bdae party XDXD  

Yes! Im finally updating!!! XD

Hahas on hiatus again :)

Well i have an excuse now... I'm working :) As a hotel banquet server under a job agancy.

I had worked at Regent and Ritz Carlton Hotel. Both have very different environment. Well every place has its flaws anyway *shrug*

Banquet job is kinda fun but it sucks with bad supervisors, the ones at Regent are nicer then the ones in Ritz... -.-

And in this job, I have Vincent and Wei Kioong with me. (Oops i forgot how to spell his name =P)

So it makes everything less awkward there, with so many foreigners there...

Oh gosh I can't believe my luck... My first day of work already kana banquet event, then I had to immediately set up tables, chairs, cutleries, bowls and the decorations. I ran like mad T.T from one place to another just to set up the banquet hall. My feet ached only one hour after my work commences...

But the good thing that happen on that day was that I was allowed to eat the food at the banquet, where I sat at one of the tables I helped to set and ate. Their satay is damn nice^^

After that I had to help set up a morning exhibition. And seriously its more tiring cos have to carry the plates, cups, saucers and the decorations from the first to second floor, although having a cart to help ferry things around. Then after tat I had to set up at wedding hall... But this part is better as they allow me to take off my shoes and I was doing work barefooted. *grins*

But here comes the second day... Oh joy! A wedding dinner T.T  

Nth to say... Its horrible in the sense that your limbs will hurt a lot. And if any accidents occur... *shudders*

And these all occurs in Regent hotel last week, maybe tmr I will post my experience at Ritz Hotel :)

Yay~ I'm finally updating my blog.

On hiatus from it too long :)

So now I'm having holidays and this holiday is more special :)

I get to hang out with my old friends especially Crystal, Chee Han, Yi Lian, Shi Min and Ting Wei. XDXD

And this holidays is special cos I'm joining new activities like laser tag and jogging.

Just today, I went for badminton with Amelia and they all! :) Super fun and hilarious ><

Especially with Amelia and Shi Min trolling Chee Han during the whole session :)

Ting Wei came along and its so nice to see her again :)

Hmm... This holiday like always is a prefect opportunity to catch up to all the animes I had missed XD

Anime & Manga^^~

And also to play Pokemon XDXD

Talking about badminton reminds me of Jaejoong :)

He plays badminton, but he's not good in it. HAHAHAHAS!

Laughing at my bias but oh well~~~~

Oh yea laser tag is fun!!! I wanna play it again XDXD

Hahas long time never blog le.

Sian poly life sucks and sucks even more than my Sec 4 times.

-.-

Anyways I'm now writing on my poly life...

N complaining bout it...

Especially my poly friends.

Don't get me wrong, they are very nice. & I like them a lot but...

Sometimes I feel like a outcast whenever we group talk...

And it doesn't makes things better when I have friends from other clique like Vincent and Joey.

& I can communicate better with them. 

Amelia also told me once I had change. I still am a chatterbox now but now because of them I re-learning to bottle up my feelings.

I can't speak out... You understand my words here? Cos I don't know how to explain it.

They too. Never talk about what they don't like. Well except for our classmates. They don't like Vincent. They never talk about what they feel. Always silent. And very isolated from the class. Too isolated, I don't like it. I have friends there, you know. & sometimes I will tell them I need to do something just to escape from reality and avoid them. Nowadays I don't really hang out much with them. & I'm sure they notice it, well it's kinda obvious. I'm just surprised that they never confront it with me. 

Sometimes back then when I disappear from them, I would get calls  or messages. But it changed. That day, they never bother telling me that maths revision lecture started or where am I. So pissed off and hurt. But that changed to numbess. I told both Amelia & Vincent. They comforted me. Vincent understood so he made sure the next lecture on that day, he sat in between me & them. He saw that I was really pissed with them. So angry to the point I did not speak to them for the whole day, well more like ignoring their existence. Wait, except for Atiqa... I click well with her but we're not that close. & on that day she didn't come to school.

After a few weeks of hanging out with Vincent and Joey, I feel like I'm in a clique. They can understand me better than my so called poly clique I'm in. 

Now we frequently hang out with each other and whenever I come to them, they know it's cos I feel out again or left out by them in their conversation.

Going home with Vincent and Amelia ( depends on our schedule) together has become my daily routine

I feel that i'm just there for numbers sake not friends sake anymore. I can't communicate with them, now much worse... I feel that as though they don't acknowledge I'm there. ( sometimes only) Okay who am I kidding. I feel that now almost every time. Not that they purposely do it to me but I feel that it's majorly cos of our lack of common topic. I nowadays don't even chat with them. Except for Atiqa but if we are together then yea....

Just yesterday, I deliberately after my jap discussions with my group ( supposed to join my poly friends after that) but I went with Joey... Then i told her about my conflicted feelings, thank goodness she understands. She gave me a sad nod. Which was to me very encouraging as someone understands my feelings. Amelia too, as she's now having friendship problems. 

I don't know, I also don't want to think about it yet. Hahas trying to escape from reality here.

& I'm planning to have it this way until I can figure something out.

Yes I'm finally updating :)

Hahas just read Ah Ma's post and one of her posts was on me highlighting my hair.

Hahas yeap! I did :) For the fun of it though...

Okay wait that's not my intention though, eh what I wanted to say was that she mentioned that I had not updated for a long time.

Well firstly, My term test results:

Cell Biology: A

Human Anatomy and Physiology: A

Basic Microbiology: A

Mathematics and Stat 2: D+

CSAS: C+

Japanese Language and Culture: B

Haiz, my maths :(

Well at least Ah Ma offering me tuition for it xp

And I just went to SWS with Ah Ma and Ah Gong XD

It was fun :):) Except that halfway when Mr Ho conducted... Chiao Wen started to crack up. Not only her, the whole trumpet section too. O.o  

Well for me I'm stunned to the max. 

*

Anyways I'm buying Jaejoong's solo album^^ Woohoo~ Jaejoong's song, one kiss. Its amazing. No words to describe it. Especially the angst feelings in his lyrics and voice. Oh gosh, the 'emoshinki' song as Ah Ma would place it....

:(

The holidays are here and I'm officially bored....

Haiz but who cares! I'm pokemoning here and there. My Sumarott defeated the whole Alder's pokemon team^^ Hoots!!!!!!!!!

Omg. He's ( Eto, Sumimasen... I don't know the gender.) like my Empoleon and Swampert :)

Wahaha~~~ Omg I'm like fangirling here.

Ok enough bout pokemon... :(

Now I'm currently raving about Kingdom hearts, its a game from square enix. N I love the music and story plot.

Here's one, and its my personal favourite...

Its melody is sad... Makes you wanna cry when you delve into the story behind this character, Ventus. A noble sacrifice for his friends and now his heart is currently with another protagonist, Sora. Whom also did a noble sacrifice for his friends... But none of them died if that worried you....

Do desu ka? Mina-san^^ (How's it, everyone?)

Wait at the same time I'm fangirling at Jaejoong XDXD

Im back :)

Just finished my term tests today ;)

Hahas not gonna comment on them cos majority of my modules are bio ones and if I say "I will fail" or smth like that. Ah Ma will come and kill me.

Im gonna catch on my sleep^^ And lols I need to go sign up for a new CDS again... -.-

Maybe I shall take Italian language XDXD 

I wanted to take French but Ah Ma told me to reconsider it... N seriously the language maybe harder but its nth compared to Japanese language workload T.T

Haiz I shall look up at the CDS offered to me next semester first ba. N i heard some people want to take Mandarin language -.- Since that is their mother tongue language and it will give them the advantage... But I have a feeling that temasek poly will make their lives difficult. -.- The school ain't stupid u know....

Ja! Sayonara~ Mina-san XD

Hey!

I just recently had my mini oral presentation this morning.

And thank the Good Lord for blessing me to do well for my oral presentation. Amen!

My group's oral presentation was 11 mins, kinda short if you ask me cos the maximium time is 15 mins.

And it was thanks to me, I spoke too fast ( Tingwei~ Your fault~!)

Haiz but at least I made my whole class laugh cos I asked a somewhat troll qn and it was supposed to annoy my friend but somehow the teacher said I 'engage with the audience". Also she said I had a lot of tone variety which is totally crap cause my speech was a spontaneous speech. Why? Cause when it went in to my turn to present, my mind went blank and I started crapping~~~~ I don't even remember what I said -.-

Lols.

And just now I rushed through my creative writing essay and I finally finished it!! YAHOO~~~

Hahas if got time I will let Ah ma beta it. Cos my english sucks. Yeap.

I don't even know how I end up in that class. Oh right, I chose it -.-

And Ah ma! i LOVE Jaejoong. I love DBSK songs especially Mirotic, Hug, Bolero and Why did I fall in love with you. JYJ too is nice like Empty, 9, W and Ayyy girl. TZXQ now I like humanoid, Before you go and Catch me.

Im FINALLY BLOGGING!!!

Lols.

Hahas, I MIA so long. Even Ah Ma complain I never update le.

Well to start off, a VERY late post in reply back to Ah Ma's post bout her birthday letter I wrote to her.

"Thanks :) N seriously Ah Ma stop degrading urself... You seriously can do it!

Imagine Changmin, Yoochun, Jaejoong, Yunho and Junsu are behind you, supporting you along the way besides of course your friends XD"

See I even went through the trouble to remember their name ^^

Oh yea FYI I kinda like Yoochun after watching his drama "Rooftop Prince".

Then blog about my life...

Stress... Tests.... Presentation....

Sian...

But can't be compared to Ah Ma one.

And my friendship troubles haiz I just realized that I'm trying to run away from it.

Like I told Vincent I don't care le.

I love Pei Sian and See Ying (as friends of cos)

But the other two...

Atiqa, I'm closer to her then I'm to Clarissa.

I just realized I don't have a topic in common with Clarissa.

Sian right?

And now off with the negative issues.

I just watched Breaking Dawn Part 2! XD

Hahas I of course won't spoil you guys (to whoever is reading my blog cos my blog is open)

It's really nice. Very different from the rest of the twilight movies.

There is a lot of twists and turns in the stories...

Don't forget the action~~~~~

Lols yet again I closed my eyes for the kissing scenes.... Not to mention the sex scenes.

Too private and too much chemistry.... Oh gosh, I had to even ask Ch'ng Yi to tell me when the scenes ended -.- ( BTW I watched with Yixuan and Ch'ng Yi)

To sum it up. I loved it. I want to watch again^^

I don't mind spending $10-$12 again!!!!

Wahaha.

I'm Team Edward ( not so much now though, my heart still has anime and their characters, final fantasy characters and pokemon to make space for^^)

I like (admire) Robert Pattinson. :)

Taylor Lautner too. Wait Kristen Stewart too.

Lols, I wanted to cry when the movie ended.

Hell I almost cried when Harry Potter ended its last film.

I almost cried for Fred Wesley and Dobby.

N yes this is my current classmates ^^

I love my class despite all its dramas...

:X

Hi.

A few days ago, I went out happily shopping with Ch'ng Yi and Yixuan at Orchard.

P.S. Don't dare mention this to Ting Wei cos the last time I went with her and the others to Orchard. I wasn't enthuse :X 

That had to be the first time I shopped at Orchard Road for clothes and I never complained >.<

Hahas we shopped at forever21 first to buy Ch'ng Yi's shirt. And went over to H&M.

Damn the prices.... (whatever words you like to use)

Lunch was fantastic. We ate at Seoul Garden hotpot, they offered student meals :) hahas made me feel like a secondary school student again with all those discounts.

The diner kept playing k-pop songs and Ch'ng Yi was damn ecstatic whenever Infinite songs came out. Hahas, although I'm not a k-pop fan but I can still chat with them about the topic.

Mostly what I talked about is TVXQ hahas, I'm sure u can guess y...

Drum roll.....

Ah Ma Choo.

Yeap its cos of her alright!!!! XD

Influencing me with them.

One topic I can remember most clearly is that I said Changmin (I hope i got his name spelling correct.) sings high pitch parts.

Hahas thanks to ah ma I know about this stuffs.

Being with them made me realise one thing that ah ma had said.

Being with your sec friends you can really connect to them unlike my poly friends. But I'm not comparing them. I love them the way they are despite the problems.

We even stopped midway squealing to watch the trailer for breaking dawn part 2 at one of the building's big screen.

Hahas we're so hyped up to watch the movie! XD

We went back to forever21 and shopped there for 3 hrs straight.

I bought a shirt for $29

HAHAS XD

My first purchase without my mum beside me xp

Cos I have no confidence in myself at all xp

I shld really ask Tingwei out to go shopping with me at Orchard :)

I wanna go back to forever21!!! XD

I love it.

Haiz kinda sian now.

Now reading books I had long forgotten.

:)

Who wanna go ice-skating with me?? ><

I'm back from Taiwan!!! XD

Gosh its an amazing country..

Beautiful scenery.

Good services.

Kinda bland foods though...

A shopping paradise.

HEEHEE

Most of the stuff they brought was mine xp

Teehee~~~

Clothes, shoes, souvenirs for my friends and an umbrella.

Hahas.

Went to so many places like the national palace museum.

The artifacts shown there are taken from China's forbidden palace.

The Chinese people back then shipped off the artifacts to Taiwan to prevent the war between the Japanese and Chinese from destroying them.

The jades are amazing.

My family and I went to Jiufen.

Its a small but bustling town located high up on the mountain.

Hahas its amazing.

There are many shops there.

The view of course it's amazing.

My hotel looked nice too.

Its interior its gold-ish ><

Very nice.

Of course We went to the famous Shilin Night Market.

Damn its cheap and very crowded there.

I brought most of my things there XD

The food... -.-

Except for the Mee Sua. Its very delicious.

Anyone going Taipei, must go shilin night market, its only a few MRT stops from Taipei.

Oh yea i sat on Taiwan's bullet train. Its got to be the most smoothest ride ever despite its speed.

When in the carriage, u don't feel anything.

But when you are outside especially when the bullet train passes ur stop...

Its super duper fast. I'm not exaggerating at all.

Hahas how are your holidays people? Fun?

Hi~

LOLS. Now the holidays n I'm not spending time wif my friends at all.

Ok! I decided after I come back from Taiwan.

I'm gonna call up Mushroom & the others :)

Let's go out!!!!

N if tmr can I maybe will ask Ting Wei out, hahas.

Yeap we're not close at all.

N it's gonna be awkward.

But i have to try my best to repair friendships I cut off in Sec Sch.

Like Ah Ma said, "You must spent time together to develop feelings which will lead to friendship."

I placed the strike to show which are my own words.

XD

Hahas, I owed her an apology, even if she does not know it.

Well, I'm a coward like I admitted to Ah Ma.

I'm scared of friendships because of these reasons like trying to repair friendships which might end up the other party being annoyed or hating you.

I hope I have the courage to do so.

I wanted to plan an outing that the whole 'clique' ( not sure I'm fit to use the word )

can go ice-skating or bowling.

But hahas.

Alas, I chickened out :(

It takes time, you know to build up my courage to mend broken friendships.

Like Ting Wei & Shi Min.

Oh yea, I owe Shi MIn an apology and an explanation too.

Don't hate me but yea,

I'm a coward.

Well I will try my best.

Although my best will not be enough for them.

So yea...

An advanced apology to them when I fail. (I don't have confidence in myself to know whether     

I will succeed or not) 

"I'm really sorry."

But you know...

Do you think it's worth their time for me to mend things with them?

If they want to have nothing to do with me, I can accept.

After all it was my fault despite the reasons / excuses (you may call it)

For Yilian I see hope...

Hope that we all can talk to each other like before we went on our separate paths :)

I no longer think it's a wishful thinking....

I see nothing despite the scene in front of me.

I feel out of here.

I hear yet nothing goes in. 

But tomorrow...

I see the whole scene in front of me.

Embracing the feelings it gave.

Hearing the laughter it produced.

Thanks for listening and giving you're thoughts about the whole thing.

I no longer feel out.

I begin to understand.

Felt better.

But I don't know..

I don't want to know.

.

.

.

Will I?

I don't know.

Don't feel like it.

Dark thoughts but it is reality.

Will I ever touch it?

Will I even let go of it?

Please.

Go away.

I don't want anymore.

Hi! Im finally posting at my now kinda dead blog. ^^

Hahas, first thing people will say when they're trying to post after a long hiatus is to announce: "How's life?"

But i dont care bout tat one. Instead im gonna complain bout my life...

Eh... Maybe not only bout my life but... U guys get the memo rite?

Firstly YAY MY EXAMS R DONE!!!

Secondly, Crap! Im so screwed for mstat1.

Thirdly, Who wants souvenirs?

Well, my life is being generally ok to me except for maths n pipc (inorganic chem)

They suck!

Lols

After doing those papers, my mood dampened...

Well, they r over. But i kinda feel destroyed by it. Ya know.

Poly life is so not slack.

Bmlc (Biomolecules) which is considered a basic foundation knowledge in cell bio.

Its content ah!!!!

Damn difficult to remember all!!! Ah ma, ur obc sounds easy compared to bmlc -.-

Nxt sem all bio, except tat i got one maths module in it. Just dont give me log, integration and differentiation can le. And also laws of transgression too!!!

Stupid... They expect us to squeeze in 2 yrs of a maths into 4 months of mstat1.

Yea la i noe a few chap only. But at least o lvl, they have 2 yrs of prac. We eh? Less than 4 mnths!

HAIZ!!!!

Well no use complaining...

=/

Grr...

Life sucks. But as Mr Tan always said: "Life goes on~".

U noe, as much as i hate the phrase's truth. We have to face reality. ><

Hahas... :) The irony of life.

And ah ma, one of ur post, Well ur not alone. Cheer up.

U taught me quite a lot of things. Friendship is smth tat is always the hard to maintain especially true friends.

If u still can talk to them like last time. A proof of friendship tat still remains.

No one noe the ans to the problems facing friendship. 

Wat we can hope is whether we choose the correct choice.

 Also, tell ur parents ur feelings, let them noe. An analogy: My parents supported my decision to join band in mfss, when i told them my conflicting feelings towards joining band. They understood what i wanted, and they supported my choice.

Idk whether if u got tell them but well tis is my advice to u.

Hahas but its hard to open up to them. And its also hard to make them understand.

My parents too, but they still support my decision cos its wat I want. Its my choice, not anyone else's.

Good luck! =D

Nth to say except that maths sucks.

Today mstat lecture was hell. Wth i don noe tat part of differentiation -.-

Lols.

Stupid oc1 i van always never score well for it -.-

:( SAD LIFE!

Haiz life's saddening.

Well at least at home my mian bao is screaming about playing angry birds ^^

HAHAS i remember the gd times just looking at this photo.

Actually not just tat, bad times too. Tears & sweat to make it to syf.

N finally getting a silver from it><

Dedicated to Yilian & Howjin :)

Amelia here's yours

So how? What do u think?
This pic is dedicated to u! :)

Hi.

Hahas my blog post like ah ma is also bout my term test ><

So here goes:

Human and anatomy: 45/50

Mathematics and statistics 1: 29/50

Organic Chemistry 1: 28/50

Biomolecules: 45/50

Principles of inorganic and physical chemistry: 39.5/50

Hahas half of them look nice. But the other half not at all. 

So yea, I promised ah ma i will not complain bout hap, pipc and bmlc.

Actually bmlc is cos i told her i forgot how to spell cholesterol. End up get correct XD

Oops~

Yea my organic chem sucks together wif my maths.

My maths is the best. Doing differentiation... "Shit! Forget how to do chain rule!'

So yea pretty pathetic :(

Organic chem is all careless mistakes -.- Damn...

Ok enough bout my results.

Poly life is tiring but yea its fun. Especially wif my coursemates.

XD

Hahas today went out wif ah ma to study and lets just say cardiovascular system sucks. 

Well at least its productive.